An Introvert at Work

Over the years I've often reflected on the experience of being an introvert in the workplace. Here's a few things I've noticed:

• Meetings are tiring and silly: extroverts seem to think they have arrived at a solution when everyone agrees on something. By contrast, introverts tend to figure out how to solve a problem. What often happens is extroverts arrange a meeting in order to reach consensus (the introverts prefer WhatsApp). Extroverts quickly occupy the conversational territory and feel deeply disgruntled when - 30 mins in - the introvert says 'hey, I think I have the answer'. I've actually had this behaviour (figuring out the answer) described as 'disruptive'.

• Phone calls don't work for me: a phone call feels intrusive & disorienting, it disrupts a train of thought and in the absence of context it can take a long time to figure out who that person is, what they want and what I am expected to say. Makes for some awkward conversation.

• I don't know until I've thought about it: if you're going to ask me to decide on something, give me plenty of time - either in advance or following a meeting.

• Social situations are draining: the key to social situations, I have learned, is to ask people about themselves. Everybody likes to talk about themselves and since they are all busy doing that, they like finding someone prepared to listen. And I do find people interesting! But I can only keep it up so long. Too much noise, too many people, and my head begins to 'buzz' and I begin to disassociate.

• I dislike changes to my plans: I get quite irrationally attached to my plans and experience a burning sense of frustration when they are disrupted.

• I drink coffee not alcohol: people self-medicate synergistically - meaning that introverts drink stimulants that make them more introverted (coffee) and extroverts depressants (alcohol) making them more extroverted.

• Extroverts are exposed online: extroverts' enviable social skills evaporate in the digital space. In the absence of social cues their ability to navigate the written world is primitive at best.

• Extroverts make poor presenters: paradoxically extroverts are poor on stage - their cognition is tied up with detecting and responding to subtle social cues, and placed in a situation where they have to present a coherent train of thought this deficit is often brutally exposed.

• I'm not approachable: there is something intangible about the approachability of extroverts - they are the people who seem to be able to strike up a conversation in any situation. On the one hand I am a little envious, on the other rather glad that I am spared the chit-chat.

• I know how to write, you know how to talk: introverts tend to flourish online, and contribute far less to meetings - the opposite is true of extroverts. Extroverts say things like 'just pick up the phone' or 'can we agree not to text during meetings?' - without realising that this reflects their own biases.

• I learned the art of camouflage: I had to make the implicit rules of social interaction explicit, in order to achieve social acceptability (match posture, make eye contact, smile, ask questions etc.). I often feel sorry for fellow introverts who have yet to learn these skills. I was once turned down for a job for not making enough eye contact, though I had scored top in the aptitude tests.

• I interpret things literally: with the result that I often struggle with humour, or with people who think I am being metaphorical when I am being literal.

• I can seem arrogant: I lack the sophisticated apparatus required to carefully tailor my message to the recipient, so I risk coming across as undiplomatic or self-centered. Quite possibly I am more self-centered - the upside is that it's liberating not having to worry much about what other people think. It permits an independence of thought.

• I visualise everything: I picture pretty much anything - a solution, an event, a theory. I am perplexed by the thought process of people who are not able to do this: sometimes it seems that there is very little going on at all, just a stream of loosely related words.

• There were introverts before it was cool: books like 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts' have popularised introversion, and all manner of people have started claiming to be introverts. Here's a simple thought experiment: you're at a lively party. You've been there two hours. Are you a) desperate to find a quiet place before your head explodes? b) keen to stick around a bit longer? If you chose b) then you're not an introvert.